How Will I Know?
Before you get too caught up singing my favourite Whitney Houston song in your head, the title of this post is referring to finding The Fit in therapy. If you read my last blog post, you know that I think this is a Big. Freaking. Deal.
Let’s be honest – finding a therapist that will be the right one for you can feel like an overwhelming crapshoot. We know it isn’t always going to work, but how will you know when it is a good fit?
You’ll feel safe, accepted
You’ll feel like the therapist “gets” you
You’ll feel comfortable talking about the things that have brought you to therapy
You and your therapist will have the same or similar goals for your therapy
You’ll find your therapist likeable
I can help you start the work of therapy before you even set foot in the door by empowering you with the tools to find the right fit. Sometimes clients get lucky, but many people don't feel right about leaving a relationship as important as this one to chance. To feel less like you’re rolling the dice and more in the driver’s seat, you can pre-screen therapists by:
Reading our bios on the Therapists page before you book an appointment
Booking a free 15-minute consultation which can be in-person at the office or over the phone
Booking another free 15-minute consultation with a different therapist if the first (or second, or third) didn’t feel like the right one
Using some of your time in the first session to interview your therapist
Say WHAAAA??? Interview my therapist?!? Yep, you read that right. When a new client comes in with some great questions for me, a part of my therapist brain just lights right up. I think, "Okay, you did your homework and you're serious! Let's do this!!!" while I internally rub my hands together like I'm standing in front of the strawberry stand at the farmers' market.
(Very specific metaphor, I know, but I seriously love fruit and farmers' markets and it's been a long winter, okay?)
Suggested questions to ask your therapist in a first session:
Whether or not they assign homework. Do you want homework? Some clients do, some don’t.
How often they suggest meeting. Does this fit with your hopes or expectations?
What is their philosophy on therapy? What role do they take? According to the therapist, what ingredients are required to make therapy successful?
After you’ve given the therapist an idea of what’s brought you to therapy, ask them how they would approach this issue. Does the answer match with your hopes or expectations? Does it make you feel positive about your future work together?
What is their experience with concerns like yours? Have they taken additional training in this area? Do they enjoy working with this sort of issue? Does the therapist foresee any limitations to their ability to help with this matter and if so, how do they plan to address that?
A few things happen when clients take the time to ask even one or two questions of their therapist in the first meeting. First, you're stepping into a degree of participation in the therapy that, similar to the fit with your therapist, is a strong predictor for success. Second, you're asking for what you need which is hugely important in any healthy relationship. Third, you're putting yourself in a strong position to get information that will help you decide/feel out if this is the right person for you.
Do you have other questions that you think would be important to have answered in the first session? We'd love to hear from you! Use a button below to get the conversation going. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to that Whitney Houston video I was watching...
BLOG AUTHOR
JODIE VOTH
JODIE IS A FULL-TIME THERAPIST AND OWNER OF VOTH FAMILY THERAPY.